dark comedy

How to handle being Rejected after being diagnosed.

As we’ve spoken about in the past, there are no easy or right answers to any of the posts I make.  My fingers are still crossed that someday, someone will create a book titled              ” Handbook for the recently diagnosed” but until that day comes, ::cracks knuckles:: I will continue giving my unsolicited advice!

Insert 5 cents here tin-cup-new_1.jpg

Recently,  someone broke it off with me in the hospital, first she didn’t believed me because I didn’t reply to her text messages fast enough; probably because I was in the hospital.  She then proceeded to accuse me of Munchhausen syndrome until I showed her pictures and video chatted with her in the hospital. Finally, she called it off because   “it was too much drama”.  This is also someone who couldn’t miss an episode of Grey’s Anatomy, so the humor is not lost on me.

Now my first instinct was to put on my cape and cowl and demand justice but after a tumultuous nights sleep, I knew I needed to move on.

Remember the important people in your life, the people who have been there for you from through the hard times. Trust me, I know you’re mad, I know it hurts and I know it’s not fair. The best revenge is living the better life.

Imagine living in a world, where you are too afraid to love someone, just because you are afraid someone is going to die. In truth, I feel sorry for her, we’re all going to go at some point, but I don’t think wanting to live should be considered “Drama”

Remember to laugh,  do something new or old; go on a spontaneous adventure. For me, I love baking, seriously it’s a problem. I own so much flour my neighbors probably think I’m the reincarnation of Pablo Escobar. There’s something so cathartic about baking cookies and pies to me; it’s about control for me, the measurements have to be exactly right in order to have a great product.

Cry; ain’t nothing wrong with shedding a tear. As a man I’ve been taught to hold my tears back because it’s not considered “manly”. Whatever, I don’t ascribe to that toxic masculinity bullshit. Let it out man, it’s a part of the process and an important one at that.

Give yourself a reasonable time to talk about it. I would suggest a therapist if you don’t have one. Having said that, I know how expensive that can be. If that’s the case, I would suggest choosing a close friend to talk to about this.

rejection.jpg

Never rely on a single person to give you a reason to live.  I don’t care how pretty they are, we all look silly putting our pants on one leg at a time. I know it’s easier said than done, but take this time away from your partner to realize what a catch you are. Also,  autonomy is important, while relationships are good, they also can mutate into co-dependency problems; so take advice from the former king of Pride Rock:

“Remember who you Are!” -Mufasa… R.I.P

After looking in a pool of your own glorious reflection for days or months, begin dating again. Love does exist, we just have a bigger hill to go up before we find it. The good thing, though, is that through this process, you will find the real people who will want to be in your life. People will always reveal their true selves to you during hard times; that’s our gift, that’s our curse but just like anything in life, it’s all in how you look at it.

Life is just a state of mind.

 

Advertisements

Chemosabe: The web series official trailer

Happy Friday the 13th! Today I present to you the International trailer for Chemosabe: The Webseries So many talented people worked on this project. Chemosabe is a series for anyone who has experienced loss, no matter what that loss may be; the loss of a loved one, the loss of identity, and the loss of imagination. Thank you all for your never-ending love and support. Chemosabe drops Thursday November 19. See you all soon!

Chemosabe: The Legendary Journeys!

Greetings old friends! So Sorry I have been absent from you all. I have been working like a crazy man to finish my new web series,Chemosabe, which is based on my misadventures of being a cancer patient. The Story is about a man who is no longer in remission who is forced to start treatment with the help of his sister and his best friend who happens to be Death.

cals promo pic It’s interesting, If I was never diagnosed with cancer, I don’t know if I would have followed my dreams. I wouldn’t have met and fallen in love with Cindy and I certainly would not have created ” Chemo: A Love Story”

After a successful Kickstarter run, I can’t wait to share this with the rest of the world. Cancer has taken so much away from me, I feel it’s my responsibility to share my experiences with the world.

This series will have everything, from what it’s like to live with cancer, to a Zombie and Twilight Zone themed episode. I will keep you updated on all things Chemosabe!

What it means to be a cancer Survivor.

cancer hi

 

Like A reese’s peanut butter cup, there’s no wrong way to be a survivor.

Lately, I’ve been thinking what does it means to be a cancer survivor;  shouldn’t I get a ribbon? A cookie? A wind resistant cape!? (superman, doesn’t even have one of those!)  I can’t help, but feel the need to take life by the metaphorical horns and go for it. The problem with living “free”, with a new lease on life is that, well, no one completely understand that part of you.

What does it mean? Like all crisis of the existential variety, there’s no easy answer. This is incredibly difficult for me in relationships; I meet a new girl and I’m so excited to get started, that I forget that our journey and path on how we came to be who we are, are totally different.

It’s the feeling that “I have to beat death” that gets in the way of living. I feel as if I’m playing a continuous game of hide and seek with the shrouded one and the only way to beat him is by making life happen. Unfortunately, I must remember that I am not an Alchemist and all things take time.

Remember, we all go through our own personal hell, for some of us it may resemble Dante’s inferno, while others, a very long game of monopoly.

Being a cancer survivor means eating better. I can’t eat what I used to eat, nor do I want to. Years ago, I use to eat hamburgers every day, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day.  It was after reading cancer on five dollars a day that changed how I eat; the way the Author spoke about vegetables made you think broccoli was the second coming.

Being a Cancer survivor means you’re able to take more licks and keep on ticking. That’s right, take it from someone who has take more radiation to the face than Bruce banner, that our pain mentally and physically is on a subatomic level. (science!)

Being a cancer survivor means sadly, and ironically getting rejected by the people you care the most about.  Sometimes you will meet some people who want nothing to do with you, because of your past. It happens to me all the time and it’s not fair, but the other side of the coin is that you find people worth keeping in your life. Try to use that as fuel that you can make it.

Being Cancer survivor means using the opportunity that you are indeed a survivor to enjoy yourself. It’s terribly hard to date after or during treatment of any kind, so sometimes you have to romance yourself. Like I said above, no one is going to understand your Journey as much as you, so you need to go out and live for your own sake.

 

Being a survivor means having the courage to start over and make This life, your own. Being a survivor give us the ability to see things a completely and unique way. Being a survivor gives us the understanding  that obstacles are meant to be defeated.

until next time friends.

 

 

 

Chemosabe and other great adventures!

Chemosabe and other great adventures!

Sorry beautiful people for the hold up. I’ve been super busy, working on my FIRST feature film and attending film festivals for my last short film Chemo: A Love Story, A dark comedy about two cancer patients who fall in love in hospital. Now I’m back and will have some new operation: Hope, for you guys soon!

Also, My new web series Chemosabe will be preparing to hit the web soon. It tells the story of Myles, who has no choice but to restart chemotherapy when he finds out he’s no longer in remission, he also sees this as a second chance to reconnect with his past… Oh and Death is his best friend. The above is the first promo for Chemosabe. That’s right “sister,sister!” oh wait they’re actually twins… Damn.
Take care friends.

Conversations with My cancer ridden Body.

Keith: I doubt you’re getting many love letters this Valentine’s Day. Don’t get excited — this isn’t one, either. But since you’ve been what some would classify as a relationship, I just want to say-

Cancer: Keith, you don’t have to say anything you sweet, sweet man!

Keith: Now hold on there, peanut butter Jelly time! … I just want to say that as much as I can’t stand you most days, you brought a certain change in me good and bad that can’t be ignored. 

Cancer:::waves hands towards face, trying not to cry:: Oh Keith!

Keith: You’re not going to get all Halle Berry on me at the oscars are you?

Cancer: Shut up!

Keith: I just wanted to say that because of you I have slowly been able to accept myself for who I really am… short comings and all and yes… that even means you.

Cancer: :: sings:: If you wanna be my bestie, you have to get with my marrow, make it last forever frien-

Keith: cancer Pay attention as much as I want to hear you sing a cover from the spice girls! I don’t have time for this. Sure… So far my longest relationship is a tie between you and my oncologist, but today isn’t about you… 

Cancer: It isn’t?

Keith: I’m going to spend this day thinking of all my beautiful friends who have helped me make it this far, and also, ALSO by taking myself out and celebrating in the delights of new relationships.

Cancer: but, but what about me?

Keith: Oh relax cancer…. will always have chemo.

Conversations with my cancer ridden body.

 

Keith: dating is hard, this is ridiculous, the Ratio of Single Men to Single Women in NYC is 53% female and 47% male

Cancer: wait, you counted?

Keith: This is a well-known statistic!

Cancer: Okay, okay, calm down. I feel your pain, I’ve been trying to talk to this white blood cell across the way, but her family just isn’t having it. ::sigh::  

Keith: I see you have taken on some of my unfortunate traits of asking out the wrong people, well not people, but you know what I mean

Cancer: yeah. I do my friend, I do. I wanna go over there and talk to her, but it just won’t work. We come from two different cells

Keith: well technically you both come from bone—

Cancer: Two plasma cells, both alike in dignity

keith: what are you doing…..

Cancer: In Keith’s fair capillaries where we lay our scene, 

Keith: actually white blood cells travel through cap-

Cancer: From ancient marrow break to new mutiny, 

Keith: you’re just going to keep goi-

Cancer: Where dirty cells makes dirty ventricles unclean,

keith: aaand good bye context.

Cancer: From forth the marrows loins of these two cells 

keith: oh I can’t wait to hear the next part.

Cancer: A pair of star-cross’d cytes take their life.

Keith: Oh I get it!  I get it! (fast) because plasma cells are called plasmocytes and white blood cells are called leukocytes. That’s actually pretty

Cancer: -Clever! Yeah I know I made it up.

Keith: you mean, you adapted.

Cancer: No… I  made up, as in

Keith: Cancer!

Cancer: Maybe I didn’t, Maybe I did. We don’t have proof if Shakespeare-

Keith: Cancer… you’re not implying that

Cancer: what, that shakespeare had cancer!

Keith: wait, what!? I wasn’t expecting the conversation to-

Cancer: – I’m just saying that cancer has been around for a loooong time my friend.

Keith: So now you’re saying Shakespeare’s cancer wrote the prologue to Romeo and Juliet? Oh my god, my cancer is a conspiracy theorist

Cancer:  shhhh. (whispers) Think about it.

Love after cancer is as improbable as Sex after marriage.

Man… after all these years i still don’t know the appropriate time to tell someone I fancy, that I have cancer… Being a cancer survivor is a blessing, but finding your love life after cancer, is proving to be as impossible as catchingCarmen Sandiago. Le sigh

Any one else with the same problem?