comedy

How to handle being Rejected after being diagnosed.

As we’ve spoken about in the past, there are no easy or right answers to any of the posts I make.  My fingers are still crossed that someday, someone will create a book titled              ” Handbook for the recently diagnosed” but until that day comes, ::cracks knuckles:: I will continue giving my unsolicited advice!

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Recently,  someone broke it off with me in the hospital, first she didn’t believed me because I didn’t reply to her text messages fast enough; probably because I was in the hospital.  She then proceeded to accuse me of Munchhausen syndrome until I showed her pictures and video chatted with her in the hospital. Finally, she called it off because   “it was too much drama”.  This is also someone who couldn’t miss an episode of Grey’s Anatomy, so the humor is not lost on me.

Now my first instinct was to put on my cape and cowl and demand justice but after a tumultuous nights sleep, I knew I needed to move on.

Remember the important people in your life, the people who have been there for you from through the hard times. Trust me, I know you’re mad, I know it hurts and I know it’s not fair. The best revenge is living the better life.

Imagine living in a world, where you are too afraid to love someone, just because you are afraid someone is going to die. In truth, I feel sorry for her, we’re all going to go at some point, but I don’t think wanting to live should be considered “Drama”

Remember to laugh,  do something new or old; go on a spontaneous adventure. For me, I love baking, seriously it’s a problem. I own so much flour my neighbors probably think I’m the reincarnation of Pablo Escobar. There’s something so cathartic about baking cookies and pies to me; it’s about control for me, the measurements have to be exactly right in order to have a great product.

Cry; ain’t nothing wrong with shedding a tear. As a man I’ve been taught to hold my tears back because it’s not considered “manly”. Whatever, I don’t ascribe to that toxic masculinity bullshit. Let it out man, it’s a part of the process and an important one at that.

Give yourself a reasonable time to talk about it. I would suggest a therapist if you don’t have one. Having said that, I know how expensive that can be. If that’s the case, I would suggest choosing a close friend to talk to about this.

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Never rely on a single person to give you a reason to live.  I don’t care how pretty they are, we all look silly putting our pants on one leg at a time. I know it’s easier said than done, but take this time away from your partner to realize what a catch you are. Also,  autonomy is important, while relationships are good, they also can mutate into co-dependency problems; so take advice from the former king of Pride Rock:

“Remember who you Are!” -Mufasa… R.I.P

After looking in a pool of your own glorious reflection for days or months, begin dating again. Love does exist, we just have a bigger hill to go up before we find it. The good thing, though, is that through this process, you will find the real people who will want to be in your life. People will always reveal their true selves to you during hard times; that’s our gift, that’s our curse but just like anything in life, it’s all in how you look at it.

Life is just a state of mind.

 

Chemosabe: The Legendary Journeys!

Greetings old friends! So Sorry I have been absent from you all. I have been working like a crazy man to finish my new web series,Chemosabe, which is based on my misadventures of being a cancer patient. The Story is about a man who is no longer in remission who is forced to start treatment with the help of his sister and his best friend who happens to be Death.

cals promo pic It’s interesting, If I was never diagnosed with cancer, I don’t know if I would have followed my dreams. I wouldn’t have met and fallen in love with Cindy and I certainly would not have created ” Chemo: A Love Story”

After a successful Kickstarter run, I can’t wait to share this with the rest of the world. Cancer has taken so much away from me, I feel it’s my responsibility to share my experiences with the world.

This series will have everything, from what it’s like to live with cancer, to a Zombie and Twilight Zone themed episode. I will keep you updated on all things Chemosabe!

How to date someone with a terminal illness

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Dating someone with cancer or any life threatening illness is like entering Mordor, and as we all know, one does not simply enter a relationship without doing some research.

Dating in general is hard, especially in todays digital “I want it now”  ( Veruca Salt FTL!) age; now throw a little cancer into the mix, shake it up a bit and you will find dating to be almost impossible. The Key word is Almost.

Before I get started, here are a couple things to consider. Take a good, hard look at the reality of their situation and what you yourself want. You also have to consider the vast array of emotions that you’re going to feel through out this journey. 

First of all, don’t buy into those silly books that romanticize cancer, I’m looking at you Nicholas Sparks and John Green.

As a Jedi once told me ” Patience, you must have my young padawan. Patience is Key, in all honesty, it took a lot for that person to tell you in the first place, so cut them some slack.  Feel free to ask questions, but don’t 60 minutes them to death, also, do not expect them to divulge everything about their journey with cancer. This isn’t “The Year of  Magical Thinking”.

It’s OKAY to be scared, seriously, it is! Talk about what specifically scares you with your partner; I can pretty much guarantee you that it will help build your relationship.  Remember, that fear is what makes us human, so use it to your advantage. You’re probably asking yourself, “but how Jedi Master, Keith?  Simple, let go of what scares you and you will truly be able to live.

Don’t let anyone else influence you, you are in a league of your own. Seriously, you are in the boss battles of all boss battles, you can make up your own mind. It’s okay to ask for advice, but in the end, it’s all you.

Don’t be a back seat doctor, seriously, Anakin, don’t do it, the real doctor has the high ground! We know you want the best for us, but unless you actually have a medical degree, have powers beyond this world or you’re simply the devil/Angel, you don’t know JACK. It’s okay to talk to us about alternative medicine that you have read about, but please don’t pontificate your new found love of science to us.

I want to talk about physical limitations. ::Barry White Voice::  “That’s Right”  So there will be days when your partner will be so exhausted, that they will literally have to roll out of their bed to go to the bathroom, let alone get intimate. S0 when you do get intimate :: Barry White Voice:: ” Ahhhhh, Yeah Girl”  communicate to each other. This is on you, patients, if your partner thinks they are hurting you in anyway, it’s over, and if it does hurt, but you want to continue, talk them through it.  Having Sex while undergoing treatment is like playing WarGames, you know you probably should be playing chess with your partner, but Thermonuclear Detonation   is more fun ( You see what I did there?!)  ::sigh:: One last thing, do not strain yourself or put yourself in danger, communicate to each other!

Chemotherapy affects everyone differently, some people are really tired after their session, while others  feel the affect much later. Believe it or not, there are some people who go to the gym right after their treatment; either way, the movies lied,  no one throws up automatically after chemo.

Hero Worship is never good… No one I know wanted cancer, so don’t put your significant other on a pedestal. It’s okay tell them about your terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Trust me, we want to know how your day was, we want to be there for you too. Don’t ever feel like you can’t express how bad you’re feeling because we may not be feeling well.

If your partner becomes depressed or is taking medication that has altered his mood in anyway, talk to him about it. I have taken more radiation to the face than Bruce Banner. Seriously, I have taken medication that has affected my mood so bad, it made Courtney love seem sane. The more honest you guys are the better.

Lastly, Don’t let him take his anger out on you!  It’s going to be difficult, there will be bad days, there will be crying and There Will be Blood. uhhh errr sorry, I’m watching Daniel Day lewis as I’m writing this.

Congrats on making it this far in your relationship and I hope you make it work. I tell you this, there is nothing more rewarding, than crawling out of the primordial soup of mediocrity and knowing that you took on the impossible and made it.  I hope this helps you Star fire and any other person who may be curious.

 

 

 

 

HOW TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE DEALING WITH CANCER

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Having cancer is like being an X-men, well, without the cool powers and the fancy school.I get plenty of people judging me though, there it is! I knew I could link the two! I win… nothing.

In all seriousness, I have missed out on several relationships because sooner or later, I have tell the women I date, I technically still have cancer. Most of the time the conversations play out like an old Abbot and Costello routine.

I realize there are no real answers for this question, but I can offer some Advice. Keep in mind there are no rules or guidelines for this, there’s no handbook for the recently diagnosed. ( beetlejuice!)

1. Don’t be afraid to talk about it, if the relationship is seriously getting continually punched in the face, by a metaphorical Ivan Drago. Talk about it

2. Write down how you feel so when you approach your partner you have key topics to talk about, Break ups are never easy, especially in this case. So before the conversation derails and the arguments and finger pointing begins, make sure you are clear and concise about the why.

3. Do not make it about them as a person, ( unless it has affected who they are) but the cancer or the disease itself. Do not take them to your favorite restaurant, wine and dine them and then breakup with them. Well, actually, do wine and dine us, but have the conversation at their apartment, so you can leave at anytime.

4.  Be a supportive friend if you can. They’re going to need support now more than ever. Only do it if you can, don’t let them guilt you into staying in a relationship. Trust me, it’s going to be a hard for them not to.

I remember when I was first diagnosed with cancer, the girlfriend I had at the time broke up with me during chemo. She came in, crying, with her head looking down at the ground.  She looked up at me and said “Keith, I can’t do it anymore, this is killing me” I reply ” This is killing you?  Great, because this is physically Killing me, High Five!” Granted, she cheated on me when I was in and out of chemo, so she was hardly a keeper.

A girl I was involved with, texted me on Easter than she couldn’t do it, fair enough, she owes me nothing. I just love the Juxtaposition of the text ” Happy Easter, Keith!! I can’t date someone who may die on me, I’m sorry, Have a great day!”  How can you not laugh at that?

There was girl who told me  the day after my birthday, that she thought I was special and I deserved someone, but she just wasn’t strong enough. Fair enough. I’m not sure how strong you have to be… I don’t know, maybe able to lift 50 pounds.

I could go on, there are so many other examples, but these will do for now. My love life is like an episode of seinfeld… a lot of talk but not much going on.

To be honest, I’ve been thinking about giving up on dating, It’s been a roller coaster ride of toxic shame.Maybe I should I pin a C on my chest so people can know? I’m not ashamed of it, I just wish I could find someone who isn’t ashamed either.

 I’m not condemning these women, they have the right to Not date me because of it, I totally get that. I just wish there was some way I could educate these women, instruct them in the ways of dating a 20 something person with cancer. Sometimes I wish there was a film that could educate and explain things a little clearer, like roots!… I did it again…

Thanks for reading!

Chemo, does a body good.

Chemo, does a body good.

Before I was diagnosed with cancer I weighed a hefty 245 pounds… I’m 5’6. Yeah… I was definitely a snickers bar away from being in a diabetic coma.
Surprisingly, I’m one of the few people who barely lost weight on chemo. I lost about 20 pounds, still big as a house i carried on as usual until my doctor who I thought was maybe 30, patted me on the stomach and asked me ” How long have you had that problem, son?” He then proceeded to boast about his age. Granted, he turned out to be 55, so either he is a time lord or he is the reason why we have not found the holy grail yet. I’m pretty sure it’s the ladder. Today, I have happily lost 130 pounds.

My point is ….your health is all you got at the end of the day and even though I still technically have these cancer cells within me I make it a point to be active, cook more and to continually educate myself on treatments. Take care of yourself beautiful people.

Chemosabe and other great adventures!

Chemosabe and other great adventures!

Sorry beautiful people for the hold up. I’ve been super busy, working on my FIRST feature film and attending film festivals for my last short film Chemo: A Love Story, A dark comedy about two cancer patients who fall in love in hospital. Now I’m back and will have some new operation: Hope, for you guys soon!

Also, My new web series Chemosabe will be preparing to hit the web soon. It tells the story of Myles, who has no choice but to restart chemotherapy when he finds out he’s no longer in remission, he also sees this as a second chance to reconnect with his past… Oh and Death is his best friend. The above is the first promo for Chemosabe. That’s right “sister,sister!” oh wait they’re actually twins… Damn.
Take care friends.

Operation: Negative Stacey.

Meet Model and Cosplayer “Negative Stacey” as she takes time from her busy cosplaying schedule to tell us what gives her hope. Sorry about the sound!
Also check her out on facebook : https://www.facebook.com/NegativeStacey

Operation: Happy happy Joy Joy, takes to the streets of Manhattan to ask random people what gives them hope. If you would like to participate yourself, (or send words of criticism) just send me a short video recording and I will post it on your behalf. please email me at stinkywizzleteats45@gmail.com

Operation: Happy Happy Joy Joy: Meet Angela

Yes. I even run up on people who are waiting for the train. Angela tells us what gives her hope
sorry about the sound, just turn it way up!!

Operation: Happy happy Joy Joy, takes to the streets of Manhattan to ask random people what gives them hope.
This will be a on going a project, hopefully everyday I will have a new video up.

if you would like to participate yourself, (or send words of criticism) just send me a short video recording and I will post it on your behalf. please email me at stinkywizzleteats45@gmail.com

Operation: Happy Happy Joy Joy. Meet Holly

Holly, takes time from her busy Modeling career and wedding planning to tells us what gives her hope.

Operation: Happy happy Joy Joy, takes to the streets of Manhattan to ask random people what gives them hope.
This will be a on going a project, hopefully everyday I will have a new video up.

if you would like to participate yourself, (or send words of criticism) just send me a short video recording and I will post it on your behalf. please email me at stinkywizzleteats45@gmail.com
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