Keith: I doubt you’re getting many love letters this Valentine’s Day. Don’t get excited — this isn’t one, either. But since you’ve been what some would classify as a relationship, I just want to say-
Cancer: Keith, you don’t have to say anything you sweet, sweet man!
Keith: Now hold on there, peanut butter Jelly time! … I just want to say that as much as I can’t stand you most days, you brought a certain change in me good and bad that can’t be ignored.
Cancer:::waves hands towards face, trying not to cry:: Oh Keith!
Keith: You’re not going to get all Halle Berry on me at the oscars are you?
Cancer: Shut up!
Keith: I just wanted to say that because of you I have slowly been able to accept myself for who I really am… short comings and all and yes… that even means you.
Cancer: :: sings:: If you wanna be my bestie, you have to get with my marrow, make it last forever frien-
Keith: cancer Pay attention as much as I want to hear you sing a cover from the spice girls! I don’t have time for this. Sure… So far my longest relationship is a tie between you and my oncologist, but today isn’t about you…
Cancer: It isn’t?
Keith: I’m going to spend this day thinking of all my beautiful friends who have helped me make it this far, and also, ALSO by taking myself out and celebrating in the delights of new relationships.
Cancer: but, but what about me?
Keith: Oh relax cancer…. will always have chemo.