Keith: dating is hard, this is ridiculous, the Ratio of Single Men to Single Women in NYC is 53% female and 47% male
Cancer: wait, you counted?
Keith: This is a well-known statistic!
Cancer: Okay, okay, calm down. I feel your pain, I’ve been trying to talk to this white blood cell across the way, but her family just isn’t having it. ::sigh::
Keith: I see you have taken on some of my unfortunate traits of asking out the wrong people, well not people, but you know what I mean
Cancer: yeah. I do my friend, I do. I wanna go over there and talk to her, but it just won’t work. We come from two different cells
Keith: well technically you both come from bone—
Cancer: Two plasma cells, both alike in dignity
keith: what are you doing…..
Cancer: In Keith’s fair capillaries where we lay our scene,
Keith: actually white blood cells travel through cap-
Cancer: From ancient marrow break to new mutiny,
Keith: you’re just going to keep goi-
Cancer: Where dirty cells makes dirty ventricles unclean,
keith: aaand good bye context.
Cancer: From forth the marrows loins of these two cells
keith: oh I can’t wait to hear the next part.
Cancer: A pair of star-cross’d cytes take their life.
Keith: Oh I get it! I get it! (fast) because plasma cells are called plasmocytes and white blood cells are called leukocytes. That’s actually pretty
Cancer: -Clever! Yeah I know I made it up.
Keith: you mean, you adapted.
Cancer: No… I made up, as in
Cancer: Maybe I didn’t, Maybe I did. We don’t have proof if Shakespeare-
Keith: Cancer… you’re not implying that
Cancer: what, that shakespeare had cancer!
Keith: wait, what!? I wasn’t expecting the conversation to-
Cancer: – I’m just saying that cancer has been around for a loooong time my friend.
Keith: So now you’re saying Shakespeare’s cancer wrote the prologue to Romeo and Juliet? Oh my god, my cancer is a conspiracy theorist
Cancer: shhhh. (whispers) Think about it.